Silver Linings is a blog series created and written by members of the CWCC Young Professionals board to engage and support other young professionals (and everyone, really), and to share their perspectives, experiences, and to show that no one is alone in these “unprecedent times.”
Cue the Pixies Where Is My Mind and, “with my feet on the air and my head on the ground,” here I go. These past months I have been struggling. I struggle to find motivation, to put on a happy face, to be a helpful and supportive teammate, and to hold onto and enjoy life’s happy moments.
My inability to hold onto my happy moments in my personal and professional life is a completely new issue for me, thank you COVID-19, and it is the one that upsets me the most. The blissful high of a lovely evening filled with delicious food, true friends, and bomb conversation is replaced at the drop of a hat with rage, frustration, and what my elementary teachers would describe as a “poor attitude.” And what would cause this you ask? Something as small and ridiculous as a comment on twitter or 30 seconds of the evening news. An ignorant comment or death toll ticker update takes my happy contented feelings and instantaneously replaces it with angst and feelings of helplessness. And just like that, in the snap of a finger a long evening of enjoying life’s pleasures goes down the drain for people that I neither care for nor hold in high regard.
Is it me? Is it the global pandemic? Is it systematic social injustice? Is it the fact that I feel like 2020 has become a “throw away year”? Or is it all of the above? Whatever the cause, I want to find the cool-headed motivated professional I am at my core. I pride myself on fierce loyalty to those around me and relentless dedication to excellence in whatever project I pour myself into, and to lose focus now is intensely disheartening. I’ve tried meditation, daily walks, eliminating 24 hour news, and calming soundscapes, but positive results only last until my next unforeseen trigger.
I find myself drifting away to the lyrics…
Where is my mind?
Way out in the water
See it swimming
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the silver lining— At the core of this, I am in pursuit of my happiness and striving to grow professionally and individually during unprecedented times. Some days I fail to show up as my best self, but I am adjusting and recovering, and the next day, I’ll shove my best foot forward and try again. The ability and capacity to recover from difficulties on a daily basis is a toughness I thought I had already learned…so I guess now is the opportunity to hone it. My COVID-19 experience continues to be an emotional rollercoaster of grief, expectation management, professional innovation, and success … it ain’t pretty and doesn’t feel good, but I believe they call this resilience.
So I say,
With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it
Interested in joining our Young Professionals Board? We are looking for managers 5-10 years into their career, entrepreneurs/business owners, all genders and backgrounds! Deadline is October 12th, 8am.